Me VS the cold

Sometimes loneliness is less of not being with anyone else. Sometimes it's more of not being with those you would want to be with. And when you are lonely, you feel cold. So how do you fight that kind of cold?

and then there's the other cold

Last Sunday I went to meet up with a bunch of guys with whom i plan to form a band with. I took two buses to get there, going through a route which was fairly unkown to me. When we met, i found out we were a motley bunch. A drummer from Venezuela. Guitarist from the Philippines. A Bassist from Lafayette, and a canadian singer. Even if i had experience playing in bands before, this brought something new to me and i can honestly say that i enjoyed that jam in a way i haven't done in a long time. hopefully this will go on.

Anyway, we finished up at about 5 pm. It was already pitch dark outside, and the temperature had dropped ten degrees from what it was when we started. I boarded the bus and got off at the station. I don't know if it was the cold or just plain stupidity, but i boarded the wrong bus at the station. I ended up in some part of the city i didn't know, lugging around my guitar and my gadgets. All this while enduring the freezing temperature which had an ally in the unforgiving wind. You'd think that snow would be the coldest. Nu-uh. Cold wind is the coldest. Snow couldn't penetrate two layers of clothes and a thermal jacket. And although wind technically can't too, it cools up the things it hits much faster for some weird reason. I could stand around for hours in snow and still be warm but there i was twenty minutes walking around in the wind and i couldn't feel any part of my body exposed to the wind. those parts that weren't were shaking in desperation for some warmth. Maybe next time i'll wear a jacket under my jacket.

Winter isn't over yet, and this war is on. Me vs. the cold. So far it's cold two, me nil. Hope things get to my favor soon.

jeopardy

So often it seems that my mind is racked by millions of questions that cannot seem to be answered. so i said, for a change, why not fill my mind with answers that seemingly cannot be questioned? (or would seem stupid to question)

Space.
Confalibertativation.
Between longitude and latitude.
Climbing an ocean.
Melt fire.
Love.
Battery powered battery charger.
A topless pit.
A ten ton pebble.
The sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sickness.
Life.
Variable.
The difference between war and peace.
A nail.
One.
Yes.

wow. that really loosened up my mind. now i feel really really stupid.... in a good way. heheh...

today i lost a piece of me...

literally.

i was rifling through a box and i didn't know there was a razor in there. it hit my finger and sliced off about two millimiters off of my fingertip. Small, yeah i know but shit did it bleed and it stings like hell. what's worse, its hard to bandage a fingertip, and i couldn't leave it open since it's spewing out my precious lifeblood.

thankfully there's this really useful thing called tape. although my badfingering digit on my right hand is currently the most sensitive part of my whole body. It shoots twenty CCs of pain into me everytime it hits something. Afterwards it just throbs until it hits something else. every chance i get, i thrust it into snow to numb it. hah.

i bought a graphic tablet at a discount store for $5. it costs 79 at the retail shop. well, ok it was used and it's pen was broken. but nothing an ECE major couldn't fix. now i have a working tablet, so im looking forward to more artworks, now computer enhanced.

oh, and i also bought a radio/cd player for 7.50. It worked fine, but the ECE major got carried away and tried connecting additional speakers, damaging the cd player in the process. So that's why ECEs have a board exam... Now im left with no additional speakers and no cd player. Oh well, can't win 'em all.

go and hitch a ride on the back of a butterfly

there's no other way to fly..

"Get to me" By Train. While listening to its chorus i found myself imagining the lyrics occurring in real time. and then when the chorus was repeated, the singer became the voice of my current love interest. and she was singing it from miles away, and i had to get a ride on the passing butterflies.

Go on hitch a ride on the back
of a butterfly
There’s no better way to fly
To get to me
I look around at what I got
without you, it ain’t a lot
I got everything
With you, everything

I just love it when i fall asleep listening to a great song and it goes on to set the theme of my dreams. So when I woke up, i decided to think up songs which would make great dream themes for me.

"Everything" by Lifehouse - damn, that song goes through the subtle and the extreme of attraction, what imagery that could conjure up!

"Split Screen Sadness" by John Mayer - bitterness, regret, frustration, sadness... this song just brings up a dark and gloomy atmosphere that would be breeding grounds for glum and brooding dreams.

"My Girl" by The Temptations - The song just repeats aver and over, but in a dream, there are a million other ways on how you can feel just how much you are better because of THAT girl..

"Are you gonna go my way" by Lenny Kravitz - I see a dream where everyone thinks everything I do is COOL

"Nice and Slow" by Usher - if you don't get this, you must be asexual

"Iris" by Goo Goo Dolls - i just had to put this in here. i just had to.

well, from the top of my head those are the ones to get out first. i guess i'll load them on the player and cross my fingers before i sleep.

six inches of white frozen water/ crazy dreams

its cold...

side note: the weirdest ever audition i had. I was supposedly going to try out for a band. They brought me to the studio, sat me down on a chair, and started to play music. After three songs, they asked me: "So how do you like it?"
It turns out they just want me to hear their music and if i liked it i was free to join. How weird is that? When i wasn't able to decide (hah! guess it got into my head) they set me up for a round 2.

anyway, there is at least four inches of snow outside, and weatherman says that it's gonna go up to six or seven. six inches.. if i trip, i could get buried in snow.. hmm..

sometimes what is already so good for you is still not enough for someone else - no, not sometimes, most of the time. And it's tough deciding: push up... or pull down?

recently my dreams have become so real, but at the same time extremely fantastic. I mean, i could really feel and see what happens clearly, but the events themselves are out-of-this-world impossible. Sick and demented.
for example, i was watching a basketball game from the front seats. Pistons versus Spurs in the finals. With the series tied at 3-3, there was only three seconds before the buzzer and pistons were down by 2 points. In a desperation effort, Rip Hamilton comes off a screen, shoots a 15 footer and gets fouled hard and hits the floor. He gets up and winces, but forces himself and makes the free throw to win the game. The team hoists Hamilton up on and they celebrate but when Rip raises his arms, his back suddenly snaps. And not the cartoon snap, it happened in a way that I would think it would happen. He suddenly faints, and his body slumps forward. His figure could be compared to a stack of coins with the top half tipped over halfway. You could see the spine bent in a sharp angle, and part of it is sticking out under the skin. I was going to get a closer look, but I woke up.

Makes me think. What if our reality is some other us's dream? what if everything that is happening to us, everything that we label REAL, is just something so impossible and fantastic to some dreamer. And when that dreamer stops dreaming of us, then that is the slow time of our deaths. Or that dreamer would dream that we die, and we die a sudden death.

Oh well, too much Sandman, i guess. hahah!

death embraces dream

just an artwork. i thought i'd post it coz i like it. heheh.

i like the thought that when you die, you get to live in your dreams. and who doesn't want to live their dreams?


anyway, i have to get myself a tablet. it's hard editing and coloring these sketches by mouse. grrr...

rotted brew

almost half a year of no blogging and everything that's been stuck up in my head is now just a decayed mass of blob. It takes a moment to drip out but when it starts pouring it doesn't stop.


A week ago: the weather report says its 10degrees outside. I walk out and its snowing. But i get by enough wearing a longsleeved shirt and a leather jacket. Couple of days later its 19 degrees and its drizzling. I actually go out wearing only a tshirt and a thick jacket.
The other day it was 25 degrees. I went out wearing a thick longsleeve over a shirt and a leather jacket. The sun was shining bright, and the wind was blowing, and i set out. One minute later i can't feel my ears anymore and i'm barely able to key open the door to my warm salvation.
Makes me real thankful that i have all those tiny droplets of water taking up a bit of cold even if they freeze from it. I'd like to think that they do it so i can be a bit warmer. Thanks, droplets.

Talking about snow, i wish i had a camera one night. I swear it was just the most beautiful thing seeing snow slowly fall under the dim light of a streetlamp. A kodak moment, if you will.


It's fun hanging out with young teenagers on the bus. I could swear they are so casual and friendly that youd think you were their next door neighbor. A roommate even! Makes me wonder what the hell is it in five years that makes them shut up and get snobbish. Hope some scientist finds a way to filter that out of humanity's system.


Im at the point where there are moments that i feel my guitar sings what i want it to sing. All that spiritual extension of the soul shit, thats what i'm going through. And now that i've got partial tastes of it, i'm wondering if it's possible to share that kind of connection with another person. Man, would that be great.

Life has no point till you give it one. Rock on.