Reinforcement

It's so shitty when you know something is not right for you, but you WANT it so much that you have to force yourself not to do it.

However, in the act of forcing yourself not to do it, you are also indirectly reinforcing the fact that you DO want it and end up wanting it even more.

What's worse is that if something that's good for you is being affected directly by that bad thing in a way that you can only fully manifest the good thing if you are able to let go of the bad.

And of course i thought of this because its happening to me right now.

Girl K. I work with her. She's cute and hot in her own way. To me at least. I have a lot of things in common with her. We enjoy each other's company, however, she's currently unavailable. Bad thing: I like her. As in -more than friends which she won't allow to happen- like her.

Girl L. Hot chick. Had a class in summer with her. Hot chick. Other people say it more than i do.
For some reason is very fond of me and had grown even fonder over the course of spring, summer and fall. We are currently in what people would call the dating phase. Unofficially a girlfriend. The absolute opposite of me. Has every abused vice imaginable. But she's hot. Good thing: She is willing to change if i commit to her. and she's hot.

So me being the uncontrollable craphole that i am, decides to alienate self with K. She puts up a fuss but in her oh so perfect understanding way she agrees. Now we do not talk at all. Not even eye contact. And we work together. All this so I can focus my "feelings" on to L.

HOWEVER, it is not working. and it's all because of this Reinforcement. Every time i ignore K, and i ask myself why, the answer is not L. It is still K. I am stopping myself because I like her. If i didn't like her i wouldn't have to hold back. But it is pointless. She's loyal, one of her many endearing qualities. At least with L, i have a hot chick that digs me, and with a little work will become just as good. But i shouldn't compare.

BUT I SEE K EVERYDAY! And in the course of a workday it is impossible for eyes not to meet. And there was a time when she'd smile when that happened. If i had to spend more time in the office id die.

So what mindset do you take? How do you not reinforce the hopeless case? I'm not against being just friends, but i can't help it. A big part of me wants to be the royal ass and say "you're not married yet so i can still try to steal you away"

(deep sigh) hopefully letting it out here will relieve it a bit.

No it won't. It'll just reinforce it.